Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Sports Personality of the Year

Sports Personality of the Year = ZERO WOMEN

We don't know if you're aware, but the Sports Personality of the Year nominations were announced today and not one woman was listed among them. This is clearly bogus. Here at FHM, we love women – hell, why do you think we spend so much time talking to them and taking pictures of them? - so we reckon it's out of line. Here are four women who are so awesome at sports that leaving them out seems a shame:


Keri-Anne Payne
Keri-Anne Payne
Keri won the 10km Open Water event in Shanghai earlier this year. Not only does that mean she swam 10km faster than anyone else (and that's a bloody long way, guys, we get tired getting out of the shower) but she was the first Brit to qualify for the 2012 Olympics in any category. Plus she does shoots for Vogue, etc, which we're entirely okay with.

Helen Jenkins
Helen Jenkins
Helen Jenkins is a triathlete, which means that she performs feats of speed and endurance that reduce lesser mortals to gibbering fear and then does TWO MORE RIGHT AFTER. She's been running for the last eleven years, has grabbed 14 medals for being fast and hard as nails, and came first in the Dextro World Energy Cup race in London over the summer. Plus, as this picture attests, she likes a lie down as much as anyone else.

Jessica Ennis
Jessica Ennis
Heptathlons must be hard. We find it tricky to think of seven athletic sports off the top of our head, so being world-class at them must take some real gumption. Jessica Ennis doesn't lack gumption, no sir – she placed second in the IAAF World Atheltics Championships over the Summer, and the only reason she didn't place first was that the Russian participant, who claimed the Gold medal, was a terrifying giant. We reckon that's cheating, Russia. If you're entering mythical races into sports events.

Chrissie Wellington
Chrissie Wellington
Chrissie Wellington is a terrifyingly powerful human being. Chrissie Wellington runs further than you ever have in one sitting BEFORE SHE WAKES UP. You ride bikes? That's cute. Chrissie Wellington EATS BIKES TO GAIN THEIR POWER. Chrissie Wellington feels no pain, and if you cut her,1 she bleeds liquid tenacity.
Despite not starting out as a sporting legend, Chrissie has dominated the Ironman event – a stupidly hyped-up version of the triathlon that involves a marathon – like no-one else else in the history of the sport, winning competitions and setting new world records for endurance left, right and centre.

No comments:

Post a Comment